The NOVICE MASTER|Welcome to Uncle Che’s NOVICE MASTER. This blog is all about Science and Technology, Business and Economy, Home and Family, Personality and Self Improvement as well as personal opinions, reviews and lifestream

I have always asked someone this question and have never gotten a reply that was different from a broad smile and a couple of fingers ran through my cheeks, but today, I got a shock.

Today, when I asked her “What Would I Be Without You”, she replied;

A free man. One that has the liberty of doing what he likes, when he likes and how he likes it. You will be someone who will not get bored hanging out with the same girl everyday because you will have a whole lots out there to choose from, and certainly change them like a lady changes clothes. You will have less problems to solve and certainly won’t be as poor as you are now. You will be free from heartbreaks and sleepless nights. You won’t spend all your communication credits calling me and won’t run away from work just to come and spend the day with me. You won’t….

Oh enough.
She was already killing me. All what she said was true. In a nutshell, I can say she was just trying to point out the responsibilities that come with love.

However, when you are a lover, you don’t even consider them as sacrifices. Maybe because you were ready for them or maybe because, you know there are many things that make up for the pains…too many.

JAN 18 2009

If I tell you I am not jealous, come on…don’t believe me. I am, but that’s OK. He is my friend. Not just a friend, a very special type. The type you wish could be your brother. He is my brother, anyway. We look very alike and almost the same age and height. The difference is just that h has put on a little more weight than me and is smarter than I would ever be .

His name is Ambe Simon Numfor, a very well respected artist  in the BDA neighborhood. He is into HipHop and has a very large fan base. He has already released two demo albums and a long list of single hits. He sings in both English, pidgin and in our local dialect. He loves and produces music that deals directly with our immediate surroundings and its problems. Music is his life.

He has always been a very bright student at school, obtained a first degree in Medicine in the University of Buea, obtained some working experience and is now on a paid job in one of the loneliest parts of the country However, he is happy with it.  He is open to a whole lot more of opportunities there, especially in his music career.

Just about a week before X-mas, Simon told me;

“Men, soon ur man’s gonna jump 2 another level, he he he. You guyz gonna pay ur respect to a whole different G, a responsible spouse and soon 2 be dad”.

I couldn’t believe it, but it was true. Simon is getting married soon, 24th Jan 2008. That’s a big challenge to me, I must admit. I wish him the best in his love life and marital home.

Here, we have a popular say in pidgin English that reads “between man and woman, no put ya mop for dey“, meaning never ever come in between a man and a woman. Ha ha ha. It sounds childish and vague but a deeper look into it reveals far more than can be imagine.

Though the say says between “man and woman”, it is not just referring to any man. Neither is it referring to any woman. It is talking about a man and a woman who are in a relationship, a love relationship.

Love comes with everything bad and good. At times everything is haven. All of a sudden, everything turns hell. Lovers who understand each other take this fact into consideration and though expecting the best, they always get ready for the worst.

Not every being on this planet wants the best for a couple. Some are always on the watch, waiting for them to have the slightest of problems so that they can set in between and destroy what they have been building for a very long time. If you are such, beware.

If you wan to stand on the line separating couples and you are so good an opportunist that you won’t take chances, 99% of the time you will get a shock. Do everything to put them asunder. Well, it won’t be long before they realize themselves and continue standing for each other. Then, they will get to know you as an enemy and I promise you, even Lucifer, the agent that sent you, won’t be strong enough to defend you.

What God has put together, let no man put asunder.

I was scared telling my baby that I will be traveling to Bamenda all of a sudden. I however, thought she would understand it is not my fault and that I have to attend to Mum’s call. I expected her to say yes and in a low sad voice, tell me she will be waiting for me but…

I can’t just be here alone. Although I planned traveling on the 23rd, spending these few days without you here will be like in hell. I am going with you.

How sweet!

After 4 years of a very strong relationship with my lovely baby, Noela, I thought this December will host the magical moment. I thought I will take her to the alter and a priest present us before God and declare us Husband and Wife.

Now, with regrets, I think this is not going to be possible. I have fully understood that it takes just more than Love for two to unite in marriage. Besides the emotional, mental and physical maturity is the financial maturity. One has to be ready not only to love and cherish forever his wife, but also to protect and provide for till the end of time.

I have talked this out with my love. She was very very mad with the decisions but at least she understood.  She thinks that mid 2009, say June will be a good time but for certain reasons, I still prefer December.

Noela has been waiting for four years, and if I rally have to be objective, asking her to wait for another year is too much, but for my sake, she would. She believes it is better to prepare and go along well than hasten and fall in traps. I love and trust her judgment.

Thanks, baby.

Love is not just about loving. There are many thins we either miss entirely or take for granted. Most of the things you hardly ever think of are the things loved is based on. Each might look unimportant and even insignificant, but with which you will spend the whole of your love live fighting hard to give or receive love.

When you start having that feeling of love towards someone, it is good to take a break, relax and ask yourself certain vital questions. The last of those questions will be what you normally ask. “Do I love him”? “Do I love her”?

Most people claim that as long as love is involved, any other thing can step aside. That’s true. I also like to think of it that way. Giving love such independence really makes it very powerful and unbeatable. The question, however is “Is love really independent”?

The world is one big complicated web where everything depends on everything. If you are falling in love, then you may be moving froward into a relationship, long-term or short-term. You need to get prepared and you will have to consider your lover more than the feeling of love itself.

SACRIFICE
Love without sacrifice is baseless. Giving your heart to someone is a very big risk because you don’t know what they future holds. Everything may look very real and easy now, but what if they go wrong? You have to fight very hard to set them right or accept them the way they will become. That is sacrifice. If you move into love without that sacrificing spirit, even if the love is true, it will immediately die when sacrifice is called upon.

TRUST
I will even like to call this faith, but i will reserve that word for the spiritual part of it. While preparing against the worst, hoping for the best is the best part of it. It keeps your mind at peace. Trust the one you love beyond reasonable doubts. Trust him/her in his/her capabilities of standing up for you when the time comes. Trust in actually everything. Relationships without trust often stand on quick sand. They are easily broken when “enemies” come into play.

FORGIVENESS
No one is perfect. Yes! But that doesn’t mean you will want everyone to act up around you. You are always ready to set people right when they go wrong. You want to punish them as a sign of revenge. Your heart approves of that and gives you some satisfaction. Love is different. No hatred or revenge. Punishing for correction can be justified but later on, attach no negative feelings to it. You must be ready to forgive your love one’s wrongs and forget about it.

CONSIDERATION
You are not being given fully all what you deserve, but you have to consider the factors that normally affect what you get. Because of your lover’s work, you both don’t get to spend enough time together, or even see each other often. Work can be given up for love, but should everything that love depends and lies on be given up for love too? If you can’t have that gold chain you so much desire, why don’t you consider your lover’s financial situation? That helps.

RECIPROCITY
They say love should be reciprocal. Yes. Not only reciprocal but you really need to even get back more than what you put in. What if that is not the situation? The fact that they don’t love you as much as you really want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you. By the way, how talented are you in detecting love and evaluating it? Not everyone is good at doing the things that you assume are signs of love.

I got inspired after replying to a Love Tag on my blog from Lainy.